We were young, and we were almost like cats and dogs, who would like to fight or argue over the smallest stuff, calling each other names, because then we never truly know what feelings are. I never looked you up as somebody that i would fall for, and that has never ever crossed my mind seriously no matter how often i went there. I don't know how to define the bond that we had, we were close, close as a buddy, but we seem to enjoy getting on each other nerves. I remember, helping you to tackle a far cousin of mine, and getting mad at you for calling me names. But as far i remember, you are someone, the last one that i would think of when i step out from that beautiful village. We get on years, we then became teenagers and i was still quite unsure the bond that we still had. We flirt, we tease and still get on each other nerves, but the moment someone notice you and had interest in you, suddenly i was overwhelmed with jealousy. Don't tell me, i already had feelings for you? Something that i never realise all along? I remember how i fell for you, it was someone's wedding, and everyone that i possibly know is all busy with their partner, and so you came and took me by the hand and accompany me, and promised me to bring me round the island. I knew something was wrong then, because i felt something in my heart, but i don't know what it was. After that, the reason why i always came there has changed, because the only reason was seeing you. I don't care if it was only one day, as long as i get to see you, laugh with you, joke with you and everything else with you. But the one thing with you, through out these, you gave me mixd signals that i'm scared to intepret it, and so i let it be. Later after that, you were never there because you were busy with school. I was sad, because i didnt get to see you for years and so i went with someone else who had interest in me, sadly you know bout this and you didnt even care about that it seems. Then after finally years apart, i got to see and meet you again, the feeling was never lost, it has always been there. I was excited to see you, but you've changed. You got someone in your life and you always try so hard to make me know bout it, I was hurt, i was sad. I went this far, risking my life, to get to over you, but all i get is that..So the 2nd trip of the year, was quite okay, you give in a lil bit, but things seems never changed, and i was pretty pretty sad. I don't like the feeling of going home to my country feeling so lost and regretful, and so i promised that the next time i see you, im gonna make my time and money worthwhile.

I saw you again this time, you still look charming in whatever you do. But i hate when you're busy, that you could not be there with us, especially me. I was only given for few hours to spend with you, and thats what makes me more i dont want to waste any sec of it, and gladly, it seems you too and it feels like a great start. You were the one who start holding my legs, whispering to me, trying everything you can do, when i start to lose it. Even amira says, that we are improving so so much, i know i can see that. That night, yes that night. I told myself, i gotta do something, and when you hold my hands, i wish i can shake the whole world and tell em that im so damn f happy! Those cheeky smile, those eyes..those slow steps you took..i know. (: This is ironic, but you are the best i've ever known, if only there's exactly someone like you here in singapore, wouldn't that be gr8. I really really want someone like you, if can you. :/ but i know that's impossible. I know, what has destroy your elder bro, because everyone has been saying it. But, sometimes things can be possible, haha! I'm trying to give myself a postive thinking here..I never had these strong feelings for someone, and im proudly to say, you're the first and this is so true. But again, in reality..we both know we can never be together and thats what hurt the most, sadly. )': So, wherever you are now, please know that i missed you so much. I hope you too, no matter how busy you are.