Like the picture above, i'm tired with the drama-s that are currently going on in my life. I don't know what i'm gonna rant here but if i ever said something tht would hurt any parties directly or indirectly, please forgive me. I didn't know if going to work on sunday was a life saver or not, because firstly i was so lazy to get my ass out from the house for work especially you know its sunday and its a family day where usually my beautiful mom would cook delicious dishes, and what's more seeing and spending time with ryan which i get to spend time with him only on the weekends. I already had a bad hair day and maybe waking up the wrong side of the bed, but i had to work no matter what i knw. As i was trying to work and focusing all my attention to it though i get sleepy at times and getting my mind off from some hassle things that are hurting me, one of my family members msged me for help saying she's sad, so i asked her and after that, i didn't have the focus or energy to work anymore, knowing what's going on at home. But seriously, working today has save me from getting more stressed, depressed and even from the talk that my family had without me, haha! Phewww. So when i got back home, i was trying to cheer my mom up because..If i was her, i would be sad too because things are just getting bad to worse. She has been repeating herself that how drastically this family has change and im aware of that too, if i'm this sad, she must be more sad right? So after my mom and the other slept, amira and i had a talk and she told me basically everything, i really wanted to break down hearing everything, but i just don't want to cry. I don't know why, but i just don't want to. I tried so hard to hold on these tears to my eyes when i hear everything, but i guess my parents was hurting too much and i basically can't do anything to ease their pain. Sigh, i wish i can let it all out here what i am not satisfied with, but i don't think i can or might be able to do so. It's just that everyone here is hurting in some kind of way, especially my parents. I hate to see em' hurt, seriously. I wish i am able to do something.. Dear mom and dad, you're already the best. You are always the best in my eyes, no matter how rude or how many times i pick a fight or detest you guys, you know deep down there's nothing that i would compare you both to. I love you guys, please cheer up. I hope everything will be okay soon. Yeah soon.

& Dear Allah, I don't know what you have for me, but with these two hands i raised and seek for your guidance, please make things better and make us stronger, amin. ): Please. Not now, don't do things like these anymore for now, i have so much thing going on right now, i might lose my marbles..im here trying to hang on, so please..