I was told that it isn't healthy for anyone to bottle up their feelings or problems, find a way to express or solve it. In my case, blogging seems a better way for me. The more you bottle up, the more it will explode or burst, in my case i might burst into tears anytime soon from now. I don't know why, but i'm feeling so helpless since i get back from home. I am in need of a holiday or short getaway seriously and when i watch TVRI just now, i missed buru so much! I really wanna go buru, because there's no other place i wanna be other than buru. (mcm btol je, stress juga aku kat sana!) Okay let me tell you why i'm feeling so sucky mucky okay? Work like usual make me more fcuked up! I don't know if i made the right choice or not by taking this job? Health industry is never my passion but again, i could use it to my advantage for my future that's why i took it. But to endure demanding patients, work in a fast pace environment and walking here and there looking at so many medicines kill me everyday! I always drag my feet to work sey! I never liked there though my collegues alhamdullilah semua baik-baik. I even made friends with the dental nya org, haaha! Yeah, actually the most thing i hate is the patients, it's like when i explained things, they nod their heads, but then when i wanna put their medicines in the plastic bags, they would keluarkn balik, tgk2 and ask again?! Grrr, then you know lah some bangsa, kiwak korg ingat korg apa siol! Fikir tu clinic mak bapa korg pe? Dah sakit satu hal, tknk byr pula! KNCB! then buat apa dtg kn? ishhh geram aku, terpaksa aku senyum je, tapi dlm hati aku tembak korg seribu kali! Bang Bang Boom! huahua, and like today, buat malu ah because dtg dari bangsa aku, i was with my chinese friend then this girl mengamok2 pekik2, sampai buang2 benda pasal card dia tak covered under our co. So what if you're sick do you think you have the right to scold2? F lah! aku banned kau baru tahu..kwn aku dah maki2, doctor pun ckp buat bodoh sudah, lain kali kalau ada patient gila mcm tu senyum ajer..Haha, attitude problem lah org2 cm ni, pening tao kepala aku, apa slhnya kau buat keje kau, kita buat keje kn senang settle? Tulah aku paling benci skali..Tapi the good thing about these is, hehee..doctor2 dia cute cute! :) aku suka lah..buat aku cloud 9 bila diorg bobual ngn aku..haha! kalau dpt cekup satu kn best? tapi yang kelakar nya dah banyak kali aku kena ngorat kat simei, ni bukan perasaan, betol walau mmg aku ni suka perasaan, tapi sumpah aku tak perasaan! haha, ada pakcik despatch menggatal ngn aku siol, eee geli aku..kenyit2 mata! Uweeekkk..lagi satu, masa tu aku ada nak beli air, kedai punya jauh..tgh jalan tu ada pass by laki ni, dia ckp hello so aku buat bodoh ingatkan dia otp..so masa tu tgh nak kai public phone, ada org ckp hello kat belakang aku, skali aku pusing..dia lagik..ahahah! chey chey..hahah! k stop it aini, you should be sad right now, not happy!

Okay back to the sad moment..Well, actually the main reason i am sad is because of my ex. This ex, was the first few one tt i really really loved or i cannot forget, i know by now i should like forget him and hack care with how his life is going on, but i can't because he was the first guy that i really loved, the first guy that teaches me what is love all about. Everytime i saw him with his girl and his family, i am always overpowered with sadness and maybe a bit of jealousy..idn why am i feeling this way, isn't this what i wanted? something that i always ask GOD for? to see him happy then why am i feeling this way? Is it because i'm not that girl? maybe..that's why i say, some girls are just born to be lucky. No one knows, how it feels to be me. They think it's easy, but it's not. I'm always misjudge, always the bad one always this and that..never about me is good. I have to stop these, i know that someday i have to be prepared to receive news about em maybe wanting to create a future together..Sedangkan mcm ni je, aku sedih gila babi, habis kalau diorg nak tunang ke nak kahwin ke, aku mcm mana nanti? ): My life is similar like a drama, but i hope somehow this drama would have a happy ending to it.