Wouldn't it be fun or funny, if our life is similar to a drama, where each time a person go through a phase in their life, a particular music would be played according to the situation? Imagine, if we were mad, would it be fun if there was a punk/rock music being played and if we were sad, an emotional song would be played too? :) Yeah, maybe i watched too many drama-s! But somehow, i wish my life was like a drama at this point of time, where i'm able to do anything, or get the person that i really really want. I feel so sucky these few days and i realize i did a big mistake, i didn't knew that all these time, i already had feelings contained for someone. I didn't know if this feeling could be interpret as a friend or someone special, but i hate to see him go. I have no one to blame, but myself because i always take things for granted thinking that everything would stay the same, no matter what. Because, it has been going for some quite time, when i push him, he will still be there at the end of the day. I admit, all these while i have been using or taking advantage of him, trying to fill my loneliness, my boredom but never filled him with love? I don;t know how to say, but he has always pampered me, always giving in and giving everything that i want..He made me happy most of the time, he was there whenever i cried or have problems and everything. Yes, everything. It sometimes make me feel sad because he treat me more better than suhaimi does when i was still with him. So all these while, i get caught up thinking that i like/love him as a friend, and he is just important like how my gfs are but the real thing is, he is more way special than what i thought. My thoughts are filled with him nowadays and that's sucks because we are no longer in talking terms. What more hurts me is that, he is going away to taiwan this friday and i'm really really sad about it. I miss him, very much but on the other hand, i don't know if he still does. He is so mad and disappointed at me that he does not even want to talk to me anymore. How am i supposed to make him understand about those things that he won't ever understand? Life is hard, v v hard and it's true that you don't know what you got until you lose em'. You know what i feel like doing right now? I feel like running in the airport, searching for him all over the place, and the moment i see him, i just wanna hug him and say.......but i guess that won't and never ever happen, just because i have so many insecurities stopping me. You know, it would be a different story if you had told me long way before.. You know it don't you? :'( Have a safe flight and please return in one piece. Im gonna miss you..