Sometimes an action has always a thousand reason for it, like why am i nasty towards you lately. It's not that i'm not aware of it, i do but i have to. It's the best for you and believe me it do. I thanked you, for being a good friend, a best friend, a good listener, a good fling and whatever we have become through out these years all together. But this time, i can't be selfish and i have to let you go and i'm sorry if i have to do it in a mean way, because i know you too well that you won't go no matter what i say. You have been the longest guy friend that i ever had the whole life i ever lived here and shockingly, we have to put this friendship to an end because love has set it on fire. I don't know who to blame, but whatever i did, i know it would benefit you. I didn't know that through out those years that we were friends, you already had feelings for me. You didn't tell me because you were afraid i would reject you & when i was with suhaimi, you were still there to be my listening ear and importantly someone who hears everybit of my pain and hurdles. You were like my fling more than a friend it seems, haah! When my r'ship was going downhill, you were the only one who were there giving me advise, couragement, everything that a weak girl needs. You were giving me more attention than suhaimi does, and when i asked you, you then told me that you had already like me long before and it pains you watching me to be sad and going through stuff like these that does not even worth my tears crying for. I didn't know what was i thinking, maybe i wanted to get back to suhaimi and so i had a fling with you, but i know that suhaimi doesn't really even care if i did or not. I was guilty, guilty because i knew i was just using you, but you were really nice, you really take good care of me, and i never felt happier before. You even buy me Hello panda, Spongebob and Patrick and even send it to my house. But, no matter how much suhaimi hurt me, he is someone dear to me. & so you gave me time, and you never gave up on me. But seeing how nice you are towards me, makes me feel so much want to be with you. BUT you are a guy, and every guy is the same. Isn;t this is what suhaimi used to be back than? How am i gonna gurantee myself that down the road, you are not gonna hurt or cheat on me? I can't take another heart break, i really want someone who is scared to lose me and someone who is not gonna hurt me. What's more looking at your face book makes me wonder, are you really truthful towards me? When i asked you, you told me fb is just a network thingy and it's okay to make friends with the opp gender. But, don't you know me, i bet you know me, that i have this high range of jealousy. It's not because i'm being unreasonable, but it's because ive been hurt too many times, and i'm just being cautious. I'm scared, i don't want to be lied, don't want to be cheated, i just wanna be loved. That's why i've been nasty to you l8tly because i have no other means how to get you away from putting hope in me. You have been asking me to give it a try, but i just can't because you don't simply understand what i went through. You are really a nice guy, and a nice guy like you don't go well with me. The funny thing is, all these while i thought i just wanted to lead you on, but i didn't knw, i had alr fallen for you. I miss you so much, and i'm sorry for everything. I hope the trip to taiwan, can make you forget what we used to had, i'm gonna remember you. Maybe we're not right for each other now, who knows someday..we will. TISYG. - Till i see you again.