hey everyone, got miss me? I wished you did! Well oh well, there's so much that i need to say, but i really don't know what i wanna say. Maybe,a few same things that i always say that you might even recognize that's coming out from my mouth, heeh! Well, i have been trying so hard to shed some kilo-s from my body and thank god, many people has been saying that I've lost some weight. It's just that i realise, i get more chubbier than ever, and that's like EWW! maybe, it's because ive been sleeping late and waking up at afternoon! I know it's bad but my sleeping patterns is becoming bad to worse. Its like your sleepy, but you can't sleep because there's something in you, talking back at you! I know that sounds scary but, these speaking imaginary friend of mine is a bad bad friend, because it's giving me the negative thoughts and feelings that make me even want to not to go to bed, i will only do so, when i feel safe. :( That's sad i know. Grrr! I'm still trying to find a job and i hope i can find one soon, so that it can shut many people mouth from asking me, hahah! Well i probably should because im getting poor and poorer each day!

Okay maybe this will be an emotional post for the day, i hope none of em' come across this as much as i know that it will be a possible outcome. But look at me, i was much thinner than what am i now, =_=' i want to be that! Can i make it? Grr! So here it goes, I never know what defines best friends because i really never met one. Even during primary school i have a bunch of good friends that i can call as my best friends, i believe that they are nothing close to what i believe what best friends mean. When i stepped into Dunman and spend a few years over there, i get to meet a bunch of girls that i never thought could be my best friends for LIFE. It all started in a small group, then we get closer and closer and the next thing we knew, we were all like glue. I remember spending every recess talking and gossiping all the things that we ever could think of and carrying a big bench together from one end to another end. Always getting ourself in mess in school, staying back just to decorate class or spend time together under the void decks or any one of our houses. As close we seems, we also never run away from bitching each other. We are all girls and it's normal that girls bitch around even if it's close as ever. We get into small fights, big fights, shouting, crying and even ignoring but at the end of the day, we will stay strong as ever. Whatever we do, we always wanna stay close to one another, be it in the same CCA or sitting to one another in class. and you know what is the main thing that i missed about them? We used to love CONFERENCE alot! even if there was no topic to talk about, but we will always find ways to laugh and hang up in the wee hours. I never thought they could be as important as my family, and i really really loved them despite whatever mistakes we've made. Too bad, one of them didn't really last long with us because of some misunderstandings that we had, it was hard and it was sad, but things happen for a reason i guess? Finishing Secondary 4 might what many others look forward to, but i don't. I wish, i can stay there forever. I used to laughed whenever people say that Secondary life is the best of all, and now i understand why. It's best because your best friends make the best of it. I realize this when we graduate, "Will we be as close as ever?", "Will we see each other more?", "Will we still spend time?" and this one last hard question, "Will we be replaced?". But when i got to ITE, i was so super duper excited that all my girlfriends are in the same school though we may be in different class and course, we still get to meet one another, and when it's Friday we will always go to beach and spend time, eat together during break time, and even some of us get into the same CCA! Hell yeah it was fun because i still get to meet them! But after ITE years, reality begin to sank in. We were all in different paths, running after what we want to achieve, weighing down with responsibilities and so it's natural that we can't get to meet or spend time with one another and this sucks because you are used to spend time with them and suddenly you feel as if something is missing. I don't know if this affect them, but it really affect me so much that this always comes up in my dream. I will always dream that im still in dunman, and they're still there laughing and doing stupid stuff with me. As much as they're pain in the ass sometimes, they're something that i couldn't go a day without. But wherever they are, i wished they are always safe. I wished things are going smoothly for them. I may not say these often to them, but i really really do love them and i really thank god, for letting me to have them. I wish one day, we could find time to catch up with one another, like i say.."No matter how many friends i have and met, there's no one like you all girls."