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February 18, 2011 / 8:10 PM
Have you ever loved and lost somebody? I did. I thought when i went that through once, i'll never walk down that scary lane anymore because i promised myself that i would never fall for somebody so easily and i would never do things that could hurt myself so badly, but who am i kidding? I could see myself there all over again and again and these has made a big huge effect on me. I became less confident, i have low-esteem and i became more paranoid and fear is always hunting me. All i wanted was a companion, who could love me for who i am, someone who is willing to share his and mine happiness/sadness together, someone who is true and most importantly someone who would never give up on me given any kind of situation, but i think that's hard to asked for nowadays. I always put the blame on me whenever a relationship failed. Was it the way that i look or was it the way that i act as a girlfriend? But the thing is, no matter how good or beautiful you are, you would still have a high chance of getting dumped or cheated on. Don't believe? Try blog hop, or just look around you, and you might find/see/read and you would see that even those good looking, hourly glass shaped body still get cheated and dumped on. Why? because guys never seems want to settle at a better stage. If can, they just want more and more and that's what guys is. So don't ever blame on how you look, or how you appear or even why your boyfriend has no feelings towards you because the problem does not lies with us, but them. But the thing with us girls is that, we are too forgiving, we are too optimistic. No, i don't blame you because i know how it feels too. There's always a part of me, where i would like to try and try no matter how stuck i am at a bloody situation and even if it's killing me, i would try my hardest to ignore the pain, just because i have a strong belief towards my faith & when would i stop trying is when i finally surrender,where when i come to terms with "tired of trying". I'm sorry if in these process, i would hurt a numerous people who does not agree with me, but why can't i try? Why can't i work on towards something that i strongly believe? But apart from that too, i know i'm getting ready, getting ready to learn how to cope being an individual any time soon. Time is short and so is life, I just want to make full use of what i have, to spend with someone i truly truly care. It may not be now, for him to see or to realize that the one is standing right before him, but i believe GOD is fair, and one day, he'll make him do that, is just that i wished, he does before i really take my leave. Yes, Loving someone isn't easy and Love needs sacrifices, i hope what I've done all these while, is worthwhile.
