Have you been laughed at, discriminate, mock or even was made as a joke by your loved ones or the society because on how the way you appear? I did & I know, out there, many people are facing these too. It's really sad, to be in this position/situation where you are made fun of just because you are big or fat. I know, being fat isn't healthy, but who wants to be fat anyway? Who does not want to try lose weight? Trying every method to lose weight, even to the last extend by eating slimming pills that have side effects in order just to look good or to be accepted by those around you..Sometimes being fat also makes someone self-esteem low, and they are someone who have less confidence compared to those who are much slender. Why am i suddenly talking bout FATS? Because i had enough, enough of how people judge me? What is true beauty? Is it consist of the way you look like how slim you are, how tall you are and how good are you at dolling up yourself? But what happen to inner beauty too? Is it not as important as much as outer beauty is? What would a guy want in a partner? Inner beauty or Outer beauty? Well, that's obvious its Outer beauty. Don't say that isn't true because reality is like this.

I didn't know when i start to put on weight, but i guess i was starting to put on weight. I didnt really care, because i have not taste the real world yet. Yes, the cruel world full of cruel people. But, when i started to have boyfriends, i realise that appearance is important, and so i tried to losing some weights. Compared to the past and now, i think im in a much better place, but never i forget those remarks that i heard or faced when i was FAT. What more, when it came from the people i loved. Just because im fat, that does not mean i would not do housework, and all i do is eat. & when i'm out with my girlfriends, i always feel like im a black swan while they're all are like those elegant white swans who are always being looked at. Whenever we take a picture, i always tried to hide behind them, so the picture will look good and i wont feel worse, but who am i kidding? No matter how much i hide, i still look hideous. I would always compare myself to them, and whenever i get back home, i get so depressed. & Yes, it still continues until today, and that is why i hate taking pictures with them or go an outing with them. I remember, going out one day and this guy was with a few of girls around him, and he said something like this as he walk passed by me, "Berapa banyak nasi kau telan?" and a grp of ITE guys who were sitting under my blk who were teasing me and my small sister, "KUSEMANGAT"..or those who stare and whisper and then laughed. But what hurt me the most was, being fat was the cause to a strained rship..Being fat, is always a big issue to a rship where you want to meet new people or already have. Just because i'm fat, i was made as a joke to all of his friends. He told me that he was ashamed cos he had to face this everyday and everywhere. & thats the reason, why he changed and cheat..I cn't blame him, i could feel what he was feeling when all his friends/friend's gf were laughing at me..I didnt know that people like these exist. Don't they feel bad? Don't they have someone who is close to them who is also big? But as long as your big and fat, you are always being judge no matter how good/nice you are.

There are two types, some are confident and some are not. Though there are those that are confident, but im sure as a human and somemore a girl, when someone says something hurtful, could really hurt as bad as it is..apalagi yg those with no confidence? Is being fat a sin? Im really sad, really really sad. No one knows, how much pain im feeling right now..So to those out there, who face the same thing as me, I really really salute you..Like Cristina Song, "You are beautiful, no matter what they say, words can't bring me down." I hope it wont bring me down anyday.. :'(