If there was a place that i would go to find myself, i would but it's just that wherever i want to go is restricted. I'm 21 and yet im broke as hell. I have nothing to my name and im too dependent on people around me and i hate it. 2011 is like a few days ahead and i'm still thinking what does next year would have for me? I always wished it would be a smooth one, but it's just a wishful thinking of mine. My life is always like sailing through rough seas and sometimes i get chocked by the water that is splashed on me and sometimes i could see the sun shine at me, but for awhile only. For the past few years, my end of the year was just bout you, spending with you, and hoping good things with you, and this year without you leave me so bumped. I don't want to realise the loneliness that is containing full of my body or cry when everyone is like enjoying out there with their loved one. I want to be somewhere, that i know, that maybe would make me feel the opp. way. Furthermore, i'm not looking forward for 2011 as im still unsure what GOD has for me, im still not ready for new scars when my old scars are still fresh open. Im scared, so scared. ): I want to be successful, someone who is financially stable, i want to travel around, i want to be happy and of course i want to have a true love of my own, but again..am i able to do all these? I wonder..