Yawns, Tmr i have sch workshop and i don't even know where is it supposed to be because i may delete it at email long ago without noticing it, gee! Well oh well, what shall i talk bout today? There's nothing much, just spend mine afternoon with my two lovelies that is momma and mymi browsing thru maids particulars at the internet, and we had alot of fun, laughing here and dere, haah! I didnt know, that a maid expenses is v expensive huh? No wonders momma wants a perfect job out of it. Halfway, i was hugging eli at the sofa, and i fell aslp in a sitting position, wow eli is so comfortable, and she's now behind me! (: I can't wait for my my next step in life, and that is to work, it may seems hard and tiring, but i'm more excited to do it. I want to be more independant, more matured than what i am now. Maybe, getting myself busy would be a much of help of stopping any posibilities of thinking of unwanted problems. :'( I just don't know, i really don't know. I wish, i had the biggest courage, i wish i am strong than everyone thought that i could be, i tried. But it seems, i failed. This is scary, hurting, painful and tiring.

Dear Suhaimi,

I don't know how to get this to you, nor i don't know how to make you realise that i loved you so much. When you first enter my life, i thought i would loved you, yes i do but i didn't expect you would be someone that is so important in my life. With what's happening right now, has made me regret, regret for taking granted of your love that you used to had for me. I took granted of your presence, your love and everything. & Now, when it's all lost, i began to live in fear. I don't know what's wrong and what you're thinking right now, but i hope at least for once, you could listen to your heart..I love you, so much. You used to be my best friend, and my "boyfriend". You used to be here everytime for me, and i missed that. I missed how you stood up for me, i miss how you would cover me in the rain, even if it means you need to get wet. :'( I just miss your presence so much, yes v v much. I tried, to moved on, in order to let you have your own happiness that you might be searching for, but i just can't. I loved you too much. Everyone has been saying that my love for you is blind, but i'm not. My love for you is true, even if you've hurt me million times. I'm aware that i could afford someone better, but i want that someone to be you. Let me make you a better guy, let me have a chance to make it right, and let me, let me and us fall in love once again. You don't need to look far, the girl is standing right infront of you. :'( I miss and love you, v v v v v v much yang. I miss having good times with you, i hope all these would stop.