Its nearly 4 and i'm still wide awake ey! Haaha. Truthly, i can't sleep well nowadays, yeah i know you're not suprised. But its getting worse each time because the latest i would go to bed is nearly to 7am. Itu pun, i've to forced myself in order to go to sleep. Well oh well, what shall i elaborate today? Supposedly, was to meet someone to settle things or rather talk things. Are we okay yet? no, we're not. It's just that he agreed to meet that's all. Well, i was rather quite excited, that i couldnt go to sleep yesterday. It has been weeks since i've last met him and there's so much things that i NEED to say. But as usual, when i got ready, he called saying he's tired and was told to postponed it on tuesday instead. I was v bingit, because i alr siap so he said okaylah. But then, i forget where i put my handbag and i was searching for it everywhere, and it spoils my mood more, so i told him that his wish is granted that we will not be meeting today. I cried and cried at my bed, feeling sucky like always. Everybody is going out, leaving me alone. I feel like a loner, which i've always been my whole life. I couldn't stop crying because i really feel miserable. I asked myself, when it comes to me he always have excuses, but for other chicks, he can always find time for them plak. It really hurts me and that makes me even more miserable like hell. So i guess after much of crying i fell aslp and i heard ryan's voice a few hrs after dat. Thank God Ryan is here, he can be a much of help of diverting my problems. My bro in law and sis bought chicken and we ate, i too bought ice cream and banana for them. Later at night, we went to ikea, to search for ryan's bed, all grown up huh? Hehe, whenever i went ikea, i used to have an idea that i would be seeing myself with suhaimi, buying furniture for our homes, yea too much of berangan thats why mcm gini. I remember telling him, that im not good at decorating our own house, one day insyallah, and he said tt he was gd in it, and he would be taking care of that, i guess now, i'll never have a chance to buy things like that with him future, never will. So it was at kids section where i came across this medium elephant, it was huggable and it was v soft, and it feels like someone's hugging you, and i feel secured whenever i hug it, i tried to search for the price, but it was not stated at the elephant. So we went to the toys section, and again i saw it, i really want it bad, but it would look childish if i wanted to buy this. I alr got alot like ALOT of soft toys, and adding one does not make a diff. But, this elephant is somewhat diff, idn what. Then my sis and bro-in-law bought for me and it cost nearly 30 bucks! THANK YOU! i guess, elephant or Eli would be my best friend for now. She will hug me when i need one. (: Im still sad, v v sad. Ive been posting sad songs at facebook. :'( Oh God, why me..I know by doing this you trying to show you care, and you believe that im strong. I dont know how much strong i am, but ive been aching so much tt it hurts. I just want to taste a lil bit of happiness, at least a lil bit, i wished.

Do you even remember this song? I doubt you do. :'(