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November 26, 2010 / 8:27 PM
As i type these out, i can't help crying at the corner of my room. I know i sound pathetic, but this is true, i'm too hurt, too hurt with what life has for me. How do i start or how do i begin, of a story that hurt me so much? All my life, I've been judge on the way i look or the way i appear. Just because i don't own a great figure, people have an idea that i only know how and loves to eat only. It's okay if i hear from people that i don't really care who will discriminate me just to bring me down, BUT to hear from your own loved ones, is so hurting and one example of them is none other than one of my parents. For 21 years, i should already have an idea, what kind of person she is.Mostly, i know her as someone who likes to nag even over the smallest thing. She may say things that could hurt someone pride, but i never thought she could say that to her own blood. If she thinks that is a form of encouragement or what, i beg to differ, because everything that she said is sticked to my head.
Yes, maybe i was wrong waking up late today, but i did my very best to help you and her in the kitchen after that. But you don't need to say many hurtful things to me or amira. & as for her, i know and i appreciate for those slogging out moments that youve done for this house. Remember, i used to be there too, and i know exactly what you feel. But the thing is, you make it sound as if we NEVER do the housework at all, like HELLO, were your eyes shut when we did the housework?i just dont get it, is there an award for being a good daughter in this house, because it seems my elders wanna impress my parents so much for being the best in the house. If really you were not happy over something why cant you say STRAIGHT to my face rather than bual2 belakang aku? Kau ada qualification tinggi2 buat apa? Otak gi mana eh?! And please lah korg jgn nak step baik, jgn nak step tk pernah post kat fb pasal siapa2 dlm keluarga ni, or infact dlm blog cos you people also do okay!
There's so much to say, but everything that i wished to say, is just hurting me. One day, when i grow up and if i have a child of my own, i wished i could be someone to her, like my own cannot be. I'm sorry, as much as i could respect you and whatever i should do as a daughter, i just can't because i never expect you to say things that could hurt your own daughter pride. I can take it if it was to come out from anyone else mouth, but from my own and your mouth, it hurts me. You never stand up for me, maybe you're right, that you're unlucky to have me. If i can go back in your womb these moment, i would love to. Because ive had enough being here, and being hurt by people that i truly love most.
