Its been a long time since i blogged huh? well been busy with sch and life. grr! Ive just hand in my stoopid asgmt that have given me alot of stress, =_= & monday was such a fuck up day, i feel like crying with the state that i was in just nw, called suhaimi and wanted him to comfort me, but i guess he wasnt paying much attention, i seriously hate that! I really need him right now, i really want a whole day with him, i just miss spending gd quality time with him where we could sit, smile, talk and laugh, and too bad we dont do stuff like tt anymore. I tried so hard to be the best, to compromise but he's just taking me for granted, and i hate it. I really want to voice out all the things that are bothering me, but idn how. Its sad that in a few days time, its gonna be my special day, my birthday and he's not gonna be there. Dalah last year he make my birthday a very shitty one, this yr too? Im sad just sad, because i realised i will never ever taste happiness like how other girls are feeling right now, and yet i have to smile, keep quiet with this shitty feelings with me and pretend its okay when its not okay. I dont intend to pick up your calls, because i really need space, idn if being with you is really what i want actually. You have changed into something tt i find it so hard to understand, and it hurts me completely. Ive been trying so hard, but you? Do you know how miserable i am? Do you know tt you can make a best gift for my birthday, i just want you, yes you nothing else. :'( but it seems you dont really understand what i want. I know work comes first, but then..im just sad, really sad. Truth is, i dont feel like celebrating my birthday, ive been trying to figure out where i wanna go alone for my birthday, and i dont know how to get this to my family because they oredi bought me gifts. Again, i have to pretend, and it is so sucky. Whats birthday without you here with me? :'(((

On the other hand, i wonder what they got for me. I really want a camera! grrr. Also make-up and recently i wanna body shop..i wanna smell goodddddddd! hahaah. Eh bukan selama ni tk wangi, cuma nak extra wangi je..hohoh! I want love, i want happiness, i want you and only you..but i know these are all impossible. can i have my gf's time? I miss them seriously. that would be impossible too.