.
September 3, 2010 / 3:50 AM
Okay, aku mesti pathetic, blog lagi..bukan apa, tibe2 hati aku sakit dan sedih. Psl apa? Psl betina yang matair aku gi matair tu baru add aku kat fb. This is the first time that i saw her face, well nort bad, she's sweet, lawa compared to me. :) Oh this is the first girl that he two timed with. No, im not malu talking bout this, why must i be? I dont know who to blame, because she didnt really know that he actually was in rship. He was a big damn f liar, which i got to know this on my birthday itself by the girl's boyf. I thought it was a joke, or a prank but it was true. Imagine how i feel on my birthday? Speechless, that has make me more to hate birthdays. I still havent forget what took place till this day. I still carry this pain till now, i had to clear all this mess he made, i had to hear from other girl's mouth that how bad she wants my boyf. I didnt make him stay with me, i told him, whats best for him, is best for me. I know, i have many things that maybe he couldnt live with. But he choose to stay with me. When i blow out my birthday candles that day, i badly want to breakdown infront of my family and told them what im actually enduring, i want so much my father just beat him the hell out of him for just hurting his daughter, yes his poor daughter who had done so much for him. Out of all places, he choose to two timed a girl near my place? How could he? He didnt really understand what i went thru, or what i feel. I was like in hell knowing that someone i loved, someone that i trusted wouldnt hurt, just did hurt me. But i told myself, its okay as long as i dont see her face. As long things are just the same, im willing to forgive but sure not forget. Yes, nearly 1 year has passed but she hasnt been off my mind, it aint easy because he havent stop doing these kind of things. I still get hurt over and over the same issues. Sometimes, i blame myself, maybe i was to blame. I just dont know how to make him realise that he has already someone, tt loves him whole heartedly truly. But for how long must i stay, to make him see all of these? Ive had enough of waiting, had enough of crying, had enough of sleepless nights. I dont want to blame tt girl, but we both know what we went thru. Even when i told you i was still with him, you were still telling me tt you need my bf. As a girl, what will you feel if someone tells you like that? You have done so much, caused so much misery to me and my rship, and please, i dont need this now. Dont try to add me in fb, cos really i dont see the reason why. Yes, im selfish, i hate sharing my bf with others, thats normal. Would you like to? Idn bout you, but i dont. So i hope you understand what i mean, by not accepting your friend request for million times. I hope its time you go away from my life and suhaimi's life. Please, understand me as a girl. Please. If you are hurt by what suhaimi did, i apologise on behalf of him. But, i should be the one whos hurt, because i was totally being fooled all this time, as a gf who was with him so many years. So please, idn how you find me there, but please i beg you. Please dont. Ive already been lienient towards you, so please.
