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September 18, 2010 / 3:09 AM
I don't know why, but these few days ive been spending my time watching american next top model, heehs, maybe dhets why tengkuk aku sakit, ish jgn jadi mcm citer shutter sudah lah, 0.o then today, mymi and i had a lil shopping, didnt wanna spend my money actually, dhets why i put in the bank, because its time dhet i have some money in my bank for rainy days, i should start thinking bout my future, im not getting younger, im getting older! But anyhow,i still went along with her. We went to diva, well there's nothing much that attracts my eyes, and all the way i was reminding myself not to spend unnecessarily. Then, we went to montip and i bought this cute ribbon sepet, which im wearing it now on my hair, -insert cute face- hees. After awhile, we went to this shop, and we tried on jeans, and damn i bought it for like 48 bucks, F am i crazy? I think i am. But it's worth it i guess, please say yes, heeh! Aww, i miss suhaimi so much, i dn why these feelings is just so overwhelming, he's working right now, and maybe he's taking a nap,kesian plak kdg2 tgk mamat tu, yelah keje firefighter ni bukanlah senang sgt..I feel like calling him, but i dont wish to disturb him, okay-okay saya akan pendam perasaan rindu kita ni. ): These few days, our rship is okay, we've been trying to compromise, and i like the way it is now, the only thing i hope is that, this will last and work out and also there's nothing is up on his sleeves again.
Talking bout dhet, trust has always been the biggest problem in our rship. Maybe it comes alot from me, because from where ive been, seen, na-ah ive always have hard time believing guys even if their are my partners, and when suhaimi did things that makes it more worsen, it just decrease more my trust for him. When he cheats on me, as a pay back, i cheat on him. But now, when "he's okay" which i don't know if dhets true or not, here am i, cheating on him? hahaha. Like he recently said, "You jgn buat hal plak, org dah nak setia, you jgn buat perangai." erm? Haiz, love is such complicating matters, i love him so much, but yet what the hell im doing? Dia pun sama, buat perangai bodoh, tapi taknak lepaskan aku, betol2 cinta gila kan kita dua ni? Im trying, trying to be a good gf, its time we think and act maturedly. Even with all the drama-s, and these heart aches, i still want to build a future with him, and i know how excited that will be. I just hope that we both would change for the better.
I love you bie, i really do. :')
