I didn't want to blog actually, but right now i'm full of misery and i need something to make me feel better before i end my day. I'm sorry for all the posts that i've posted here as semua emo emo punyer, so if you think i'm wasting your time or that i've a boring life, please exit. (: I just need to get this out from my chest. Do you know at this point of time, right here and right now, i feel so sucky, i feel so much pain piercing through my body,but i just don't what's the cure for it. I thought, maybe listening to suhaimi's voice for awhile helps,but then..Lucky? No, i have not been lucky for all my life. Maybe as a kid i was, i was v much pampered by everyone especially my dad. I don't know if he does pamper me like how he does like last time, but i know he's the only man that can never hurt me like other guys did. I'm thankful that atleast my dad cares,i guess? I wonder how my life would be without my daddy. So where was i? Oh lucky, how would you define lucky? To me, lucky means that things are always on your way and that you've something that others are deprive of. I don't know if im lucky or not, i was born complete with no defects and i have big family, and i also have a bunch of friends that i think i could depend on? Maybe. I also have a boyfriend, but is that makes me lucky? Perhaps one of the definition of lucky, is happy and i think it does not exist in my dictionary of life. Am i hard to please? Am i these or that? Im not. I'm NURAINI, and for me this nuraini has been simple for all of her life, truthly she is v bubbly,friendly,nice,kind,caring and blablabla. But because the shits that are always happening in her life, she's all opp now. This girl right here, has been a great actor, she knows how and when to hide behind her smile, when all she wants to do is just cry and breakdown. That's why people mistook her for someone who is free from problems. I don't, and people just don't get it, when i really tell them, "My life really sucks, try live mine and you'll finally see what i mean." yes i have no disability, but living a life like this, has make me numb all over, that i just wish i could end it soon. I have been patient, wishing, hoping and praying that my life would take a different direction, but i realised it'll just never be. I'm fat,ugly, i always have family problems that are hurting and aching me every now and then, my studies are always declining day by day,and i can feel my health is worsen each day and my bf sucks to the core and etc. I try to look gd, but no matter hw i try, people would tend to demoralise me with harsh words that they wont know that could hurt me. Yes im fat and ugly but you dont have to say to me directly or indirectly, so what if you were born the opp. Just shut the f up and enjoy what you have. Family Problems? Atleast you have someone to side you, someone to hear you, someone to comfort you either someone in your family or that special one, but do you that each time i have problems i have no one to turn to, except you my blog? Do you know how sucky it feels when you call your bf, but then he doesnt pick up your call or ask why the next day? Do you know how terrible it feels to look at your phonelist, and try to find someone to talk bout this, and when you call them they don't answer? Do you know all these feelings? Yes, im trying to get a diploma so i can shut those ppl mouth up that Im from ITE that my other siblings are from University,so what? what if i do better than them one day? Why ITE cnt ada future meh? ITE jahat sgt pe? _l_and boyfriends? If you got a boyfriend that treats you right, then your lucky. Do you know that it sucks to know that you have a boyfriend but he's not there everytime, he doesnt even give a hoot about you, he only knows how to bring you down, make you cry and give you heart breaks, but he'll not let you go? Do you know how f tired i am? To go thru all these again and again.

Ye, mmg aku tak guna, mmg aku bodoh, ni smua, tapi korg ada pk tak, korg susah siapa ada? Siapa yg buat korg ketawa, siapa yg beli ni beli tu, siapa pinjamkn benda, siapa jaga korg nya masalah, AKU AKU AKU! but tell me, why still at the end of the day, im still the bad one? Why..i really give up, i just dont want to live another day here, everything is tormenting me emotionally. I feel like dying. :'( God,why it has to be me, i just want to be happy. Happy, that's all i ask for from you.