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September 3, 2010 / 2:56 AM
Hi everyone, (: Yeah its me again. I can't go to sleep and im quite bored right now, so i thought of just blogging. Well, i guess there's many things that is weighing on my mind, that i could not find myself sleep peacefully. Raya is like in a matter of a few days, i know. I still can't believe it's already Sept, and my birthday is like next month. Tsk Tsk. But wait, erm never mind shall not tell you what i have on my mind for my birthday. We're slacking like hell sey, rumah belom kemas betul. Kuih pun stakat satu jenis je, itu pun dah tgl skit pasal agak nya terlalu sedap, heeh. Alamak, pantat aku masih sakit duduk kat kerusi ni berjam-jam, heehe. Jap eh, biar aku tukar posisi aku jap. Today, i clean almost half of my room, and get rid of all the mess. Haaha, I managed to throw alot of things, i didnt knew that i loved to keep necessary things inside my place huh? Actually, ive been distracting myself for the whole day, trying to distract how im actually feeling. I cried again, when i finished sahur, i know. I was like, "when can i finally stop crying?" and i received a msg from him, saying he was sorry and stuff. F YOU ah, sorry? Senang pe kau ckp?! & 11pm just now, he msged me asking me this and that, but i didnt replied. Im trying, trying to learn, to ignore this feeling. If this feeling slowly dies on me, i'll be gladly to walk away from this rship without any feeling of miserable.
Oh yeah, did i tell you yesterday was my parents wedding anniversary? It was their 31th, and we were all there to celebrate this happy day. Yeah, i love my parents. I could never asked for a better parents. They could be the most noisiest when they nagged, the most irritating when they're not in the mood, they could be something tht i always cursed and hated, but i've always know that my parents are the best. They're understanding, funny, adorable. They have done so much for us, to raise us up. They have gone thru so much as a husband and wife, what's more a family. Haaha, Too bad for those people, who wanna mess with my parents, we're not the type where nak hormat2 bila kau bual buruk pasal mak bapa aku. Kau buat gitu, kau terpaksalah hadap 6 anak gangster, plus satu Garang tak menjadi abg ipar and budak kasar, ryan, lagi2 when he's obsessed watching with Kungfu Panda. Mind you, he has been learning the steps! Haahaa! But thats true, my parents shall not worry for the present or for the future, as we're all here for them, whenever. We're indebted to them. (: We love you Mom and Dad, you're the best. Thanks for being the glue to this family! We'll go thru everything, everything together.
Ouh, my eyes are getting heavier and heavier as im typing these away, WAIT!I must be one blogger who writes alot bout her life, don't i? Haaha. What to do, ive got so many going on for me. Must bear with me tau. heehs! Mcm org biol plak kan, bual sorg. Well,idn if this is a sin. But i'm feeling better because of someone else, someone else that has been there for me. Someone else who has know me long before. When i cried yesterday, he was there for me. He was there actually just to hear me cry on the phone, and when i hang up without saying anything, he understood me. Maybe he has been the only one who has seen the best and the worst of me, who knows what life has for me. The way he says, "I'm always here for you,girl." can make me feel secured, to know that actually someone does really care. He may not be my boyf, but he have always been my bestfriend. Is it true a girl and a guy can't really have a friendship because somewhere and somehow special feelings developed? Im aware of his feelings towards me, but me? Im just aint sure yet. I dont want him to be something or somewhere that i could divert my attention to, knowing that he's nice to me. Or, making use of him whenever i have issues with my boyf, but what i can really do, my boyf doesn't have the time like he do. My boyf isnt there to hear me laugh, to see me smile or even worst to hear me cry.Ive never had a guyfriend for this long, nearly 5 or 6 years maybe? & i dont want anything to spoil something beautiful that we've been built for all these years. You're really a nice guy indeed, i assure that if any girls get you, she would be sure damn lucky. Im thankful,for having someone like you. (:
Moral of the story, you should start hold my hand tight, cos slowly bit by bit, im letting go. You should know who im referring to, yes boyf, you! I can always do million times better than you.Kau ingat kau sorg yg boleh tipu, ada betina lain? Aku pun boleh, cuma aku taknak je psl aku ada OTAK!you yourself know right, who is this guy right, and you wannt get jealous and feeling insecure all that stuff? Haha, LMAO! Seriously, your actions has killed everything! From A-Z, i just dont know what's left here in my heart, that still wants me to still keep waiting, i might, but not that too long, because i live for happiness, and my happiness might not come from someone like you.
