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September 22, 2010 / 12:51 AM
Hey all, i'm sorry for updating daily these few days and that has been a hassle to you, especially my posts are more to the sad side, yeah for a second, please hold on to your thoughts, you must be thinking, "Hey girl, get a life" or even "Damn this girl life is nothing interesting". Well you may be half right, (: Happy? I'm someone who is more to keeping to myself rather than telling my closed one about it, but if you finding me sms-ing or call-ing you, it means im in real shit. I find that blogging always makes me feel better because i can type whatever i want, whatever im thinking or feeling without getting any judgements or even a feedback. So please, i hope you feel me. Truthly, as im typing these, i could not see clearly as my eyes is really badly bruised because i've been crying. I just had communication go wrg with suhaimi, and hence why. I really hoped, and what i wished was simple that atleast he could have the basic courtesy to say sorry, or even inform me that he's tired and stuff rather than let me wait from yesterday after we put down. Like if you read my post below you know right this happened actually from two days before, actually it makes 3 days before. I've been telling him, what my dislikes and likes are, so that if we can compromise, we can see eye to eye, and we can be spared from shouting, cursing one another. All my almost 3 years with him, he just know how to say that Im sorry, I wouldn't do this again, I will change and blablabla, but still no effect yet. Im not really being hard on him, it's just that the most of it is our trust issue, because he cheats this is the consequences he has to pay,he has to inform me where he has to go, with who and blabla, im not being unreasonable, whenever he wants to play soccer i let him, whatever he wants i can allowed it, its just that i NEED to know where, and with who, tht's all. But to him, this is a hassle and he feels that he has no freedom completely, like W H O A, and to hear what he said directly really hurts me. Like VVV f bad. I shall say thanks too yeah to his boys for really making a huge impact on my partner, well you done it, happy? I was heartbroken, sad and mostly i was hurt. Ive tried, every mean. Ive tried to compromise, trying to take us back to where we were before, but then, it feels like ive been doing the guy responsibilities, while he? He's like the girl, waiting for something to accept. I don't mind, but what makes me mad, is he does not put his effort too and now he wants to talk about working out together? Im, just sad. Sad because ive been always wishing that i could get a good partner, someone that really loves me for who i am, who is able to accept my flaws, someone that is faithfull and someone that is always there for me, was this hard? I didnt ask for looks, cash or what, id even care all these stuff, but why all my 21 years ive been getting all the jerks? I know i deserve someone much more better, i got so many to offer, why can't people really know the real me, before passing a remark bout me? Im just sad, really really sad. I feel like crying now, but im too tired, really really tired. I might do something stupid, cos this is really sucking out the whole lot out of me. 
Hey all, i'm sorry for updating daily these few days and that has been a hassle to you, especially my posts are more to the sad side, yeah for a second, please hold on to your thoughts, you must be thinking, "Hey girl, get a life" or even "Damn this girl life is nothing interesting". Well you may be half right, (: Happy? I'm someone who is more to keeping to myself rather than telling my closed one about it, but if you finding me sms-ing or call-ing you, it means im in real shit. I find that blogging always makes me feel better because i can type whatever i want, whatever im thinking or feeling without getting any judgements or even a feedback. So please, i hope you feel me. Truthly, as im typing these, i could not see clearly as my eyes is really badly bruised because i've been crying. I just had communication go wrg with suhaimi, and hence why. I really hoped, and what i wished was simple that atleast he could have the basic courtesy to say sorry, or even inform me that he's tired and stuff rather than let me wait from yesterday after we put down. Like if you read my post below you know right this happened actually from two days before, actually it makes 3 days before. I've been telling him, what my dislikes and likes are, so that if we can compromise, we can see eye to eye, and we can be spared from shouting, cursing one another. All my almost 3 years with him, he just know how to say that Im sorry, I wouldn't do this again, I will change and blablabla, but still no effect yet. Im not really being hard on him, it's just that the most of it is our trust issue, because he cheats this is the consequences he has to pay,he has to inform me where he has to go, with who and blabla, im not being unreasonable, whenever he wants to play soccer i let him, whatever he wants i can allowed it, its just that i NEED to know where, and with who, tht's all. But to him, this is a hassle and he feels that he has no freedom completely, like W H O A, and to hear what he said directly really hurts me. Like VVV f bad. I shall say thanks too yeah to his boys for really making a huge impact on my partner, well you done it, happy? I was heartbroken, sad and mostly i was hurt. Ive tried, every mean. Ive tried to compromise, trying to take us back to where we were before, but then, it feels like ive been doing the guy responsibilities, while he? He's like the girl, waiting for something to accept. I don't mind, but what makes me mad, is he does not put his effort too and now he wants to talk about working out together? Im, just sad. Sad because ive been always wishing that i could get a good partner, someone that really loves me for who i am, who is able to accept my flaws, someone that is faithfull and someone that is always there for me, was this hard? I didnt ask for looks, cash or what, id even care all these stuff, but why all my 21 years ive been getting all the jerks? I know i deserve someone much more better, i got so many to offer, why can't people really know the real me, before passing a remark bout me? Im just sad, really really sad. I feel like crying now, but im too tired, really really tired. I might do something stupid, cos this is really sucking out the whole lot out of me.