Hi everyone, haha.. i wonder do people read my blog? Erm. Well, i'm so tired right now physically and mentally! Just finished baking cookies for raya, it's more to cornflakes. Momma bought new oven, and we didnt know how to adjust here and there, so there were many setbacks making this cornflakes. We named it "Kuih Cornflakes Suka hati aku" at first, but since with all of those setbacks, we decide ti name it, Kuih Cornflakes Trauma! Hahaa, don't ask me why. Supposedly i wanted to follow Along to jb, but i can't because ryan's coming over and i had to continue making cookies. :( Suhaimi came over just now to watch Wujud, and as usual it was nothing interesting. I expect it to be more interesting as in diorg cari hantu or came across one, not PANGGIL. and this new one, really mcm terlampau batas, you've to watch it to know what i mean. Talking bout suhaimi, now i realise that i see him less and less of him. I can't even believe everything that is coming out of his mouth. When i asked him to look at my eyes and tell that he isn't cheating, he was fidgeting and he didn't even dare to look me in the eye. I know what that means. I'm sad, sad because i dont understand why he's being such an ass, if he's really involve with someone, then let me go. But he just wouldnt let me, i dont know why. He told me that he's not cheating and asked me to believe him, but i just can't. I trusted him 2 times, and these went to wasted. I can't afford to be lied again, or to endure another heartbreak of knowing such things that i thought he wouldn't do. Oh yeah, im watching tough couples now at BIO Channel, its about those couples tt need to go for bootcamp to resolve rships that have prob such as communications, cheating and trust issue. If only they had this in SPORE, i would sign up! But again the diff is that those guys in that reality show, wanna give it a try, but suhaimi, na-ah he does not. Here i am v down like hell, and i need him, where he is? He's f out enjoying himself. Im just so tired, tired with him. ;'(

i dont understand why, my life is being hard on me. This is a v tough week for me. I feel like breaking down or just shout. Ive been so nice to people but yet they're all stepping me all over. I dont deserve this, i just dont. All i want is happiness, i just want to be happy like all normal girl does. But i dont know, whenever i try, something bad is waiting for me to bring me down. Im so down, and ive no mood for anything right now. Besides that, today ive dreamt something so beautiful. V beautiful. Ive dreamt of my late uncle 2 times, but i dont know what the first one was. The second was v sad that it feel like real. My sisters and I and momma was rushing to go to a boat, when he suddenly tegur us, we all were happy to see him and rushed to him inside a shop..We were like asking him how he was with tears in our eyes, we were like questioning him this and that. & we had to go somehow, my sisters all salam him, i too, but when we wanna walk away for the last time, i run to him and hold his hand and look at his face lovingly and said, that i missed him so much. He touched my hand and said, "Me too", i could see tears flowing down his face, but he told me that i had to go with a smile, i walk out that shop looking at his face, his smiley face. I miss my uncle so much, there's no words to describe it. :'( May allah bless your soul, amin.